Busted

A man catches this guy having sex with his wife n beats him up and sends him away naked. So the guy finds his way home naked since it was dark.

Future Tense

TEACHER: I killed a person "convert this sentence into a future tense.

Types Of Gases

A teacher was teaching the topic TYPES OF GASES and the students gave examples such as oxygen,hydrogen,carbondioxide and others.

Skipping Service

A Pastor decided to skip services one Sunday and head to obudu hills to do some hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he collided with a lion, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. His rifle went one way, and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs.

Bee Country

Teacher: what do you call a bee that lives in America?..

Or What?

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past six months.

The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is.

Buying on the Express

Dokpemu was travelling in his private car along the Lagos-Ore express road, when he sited a huge bushmeat hanging on a stick from afar & decided to buy. He stopped & priced.......... Madam,how much is ur bushmeat???.... Oga na 7000naira...... Haba Madam, e too cost, na how much U go sell am last???....Oga bring 6500........

Impress

A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl ,

Freezer Killer

Two women met at the pearly gate.

Banatation

A teacher asked a question "what do u call a place where plantains are planted?"

Returning the favour

A man was starved of sex bcos his wife had put 2 birth thru CS.
One day, the wife said Eeyaa!, my Love, I know how u must be feeling bcos of my condition; abeg take this #2000 and look for someone and satisfy urself.

U get Loaf of Bread

Jide was hungry and went to 'mai shayi' (men selling tea and bread).The following transpired between the man and the mai shayi.

Who Owns

Mother:- My son must obey me unless he didn't suck my breast for one year,

Getting Along

A husband was having great difficulty getting along with his wife – nothing but arguing and friction –

Winning lottery

My landlord's son won a #10 million lottery, kept d money inside a 'Ghana must go' bag, went under a tree, buried d money,

Bad English

Listen to the ENGLISH TEACHERS of nowadays in primary schools;
1. Don’t dare talk in front of my back.!
2. Both of you three get out of the class.!
3. Take 5 cm wire of any length.!

Spiri Soap (Photo Of the Day)

Bitter Leaf

Some suppliers of sugar cane were stopped by robbers on the road. “Give us money! said the robbers. The suppliers replied : we hav no money cuz we used all the money to buy this truck full of sugar cane. The pissed robbers instructed the men to sit down and eat up the whole sugar cane.

CSI Brazilian

A strand of hair picked up from a Nigerian crime scene

Understand

Teacher: What do U understand by definitive deficit equity?

No be foolishness

A man's car developed a fault near a psychiatry hospital. One of the tyre was loose, all the 4 knots had fallen off and no where to be found.

Not the same Guy

Akpos was being chased by two men for one of his numerous crimes, and he ran into d forest, and climbed a tree.

What's The capital

Teacher: what is d capital of Turkey?: Tony replies Ankara,

Burial Money

A man invited his friends from far & wide for his father's funeral, after lowering the coffin they put yams, rice, meat E.T.C, into the grave. A Hausa man who is used to their simple way of burying the dead, asked "why do you waste so much food item this hard times? The man smiled & said, ''according to our tradition the dead man is going on a long journey & therefore needs all the food items.

Looking for My wife

Akpos enters a church n finds the priest."How may I help you son?" asks the priest.

"Am looking for my wife, she said she would be here but as I can see she's not around. Now that am here, I would like to confess".

5 Years From Now

Interviewer: Where do u see urself in 5 yrs sir?..

Punctuation

Osobaifo was caught writing on the wall by the Headboy Authur, an offence punishable by 24 strokes then suspension. The Headboy took Osobaifo to the principal where he was having a meeting with teachers.

Pass Exam

Osobaifo came 1st in his class.