Indecent Exposure

A woman is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right boob hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Madam, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

Hot Water Phone

A friend's calabar house girl was answering her phone while cooking and the phone fell into boiling hot water.

Funeral Cabby

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car,nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath,and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

Chicken Delivery

Haruna was sent to deliver a live chicken in lagos, on his way a careless cyclist made him fall off,

15 WAYS To Know If Witches are Following You From Your village

15. If you work in a company for 10 years, without promotion or raise in salary.
14. When you fail BOTH maths and english in WAEC.

I Don Ripe

A mad man at the Aro Mental Hospital climbed a tree and spent half day on that tree, all of a sudden he let go of the branch and fell straight to the ground full force.

Gossip Much

Three pastors took a day off and decided to go fishing after a busy Sunday. They agreed it’s so difficult preaching to people all the time and no one preaches to them.

I dey Joke

Boy: Babe how's ur week?
Girl: Not bad
Boy: Was thinking u could come over to my place on Friday if you're chanced.
Girl: I don't think so. I have choir practice after work.
Boy: Oh ok. How about Saturday?

Hung Chow

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs hurt. I not come work."

Igbo Man

An igbo man had no child, no money, no home and a blind mother, one day he found an old kai kai bottle with a genie in it.

Collision

A doctor and a lawyer got into a car accident, on a small country road. The lawyer had figured that nobody else would be on the road, and had raced through a stop sign. The doctor, on a cross street, had no time to react and couldn't have missed the lawyer if he had tried. Fortunately, neither driver was hurt.

Idiot in Heaven

A philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.  Before anyone knew, the three men  found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven,where St.Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

Horses

Guy enters a bar stressed. Bartender: What's up?
Guy: I've got these 2 horses & I can't tell dem apart. I'm mixin up riding & feeding times.
Bartender: why don't u shave d tail of 1 horse?

Pastor

A Pastor was stopped by police who naturally wanted something & He was not playing ball, they asked for his papers & found noting with which 2 nail him, he was asked to open the hood.

Bullet Proof

Mallam Musa bought a 20m Naira bullet proof Jeep, he was travelling from Abuja to Kano when he was accosted by armed bandits,

Politicians

A bus full of politicians was driving down a country road when their bus ran off d road & crashed in2 a tree in an old farmers field. The cops came out few hours later.

Cashless Lagos (Photo of the Day)