How Much do you Love me.

Girl: how much do you love me?

Boyfriend: I love u so much, I can't measure.

Pump Action

little Rukevwe comes back from the school crying.

All Idiots Stand up!!

Teacher: All idiots stand up.
Akpos stood up.

Robbers

Two bank robbers:

Future Payment

A motorist Akpos was driving by a farm in Ogun, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. Akpos went to the owner of the calf (baba Risi) and explained what had happened.

Spoilt For Choice

I just witnessed this conversion between a flight executive and a passenger on a flight.
Flight Executive: Would you like something to drink Sir? Some Juice perhaps?
Passenger: Yes Please!
Flight Executive: would you also like some wine to go with your meal Sir?
Passenger: Yes.
Flight Executive: Red or white?
Passenger: Red Please!
Flight Executive: South African or French?
Passenger: French

Name Change

After dipping Akpos three times in water, Bro Peter said to him, "You are now a new creature, your name is no longer Akpos but Paul.
From now onwards, You don't eat meat, our church eats only fish!!!

What Do You Want to Drink?

Rich people and dia wahala, a friend went to visit his babe frm a very rich family. D maid approached him & asked MAID: what would u lyk to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
My guy: tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?
My guy:Ceylon tea pls. MAID: how do u want it, black or white?
My guy: white. ...

What do you think I am?

Wife says 2 husband:
Wife: Come help with the garden.
Husband: What do u think I am?a gardener?
Wife: Come fix the toilet faucet.