Stolen Car

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken
in to his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal,
even the accelerator," he cried out.

Key in the Car

As narrated by a lady:
After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room it wasn't there,
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

Confession Time

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the Parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.