The 3 C’s

The 3 C’s of life: choices, chances, and changes.

Bros Show

It was make a sentence day in school and all the students where making sentences.
The Teacher turned to Ogbologbo and asked him to make a sentence with four words, inviting his brother back home from the US, as there are major problems at back at home.

Bachelors

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
"I buy one cookbook the other day," said the first, "but I no fit use am do anything."

ATM PIN

Shehu was withdrawing money from the ATM, when Ugo behind him laughed "hahahaha" and said "you be mumu, I don see your password, na four stars(****)"

ATM Child

Couples were in court for divorce. The problem is who gets the custody of the child. The wife jumps up & said, your honour I brought the child into this world in pains & labour, he should be in my custody.!!

Solving Problems

Do not use a permanent solution to solve a temporary problem.

Mensah

Mensah
It was the first day of the session, and a new Direct Entry student, Mensah, a Ghanaian, joined the class in one of Nigeria's Universities. The lecturer said, "let's begin by reviewing Nigerian history". He then asked, "who said I shall return to die in the land of my fathers"?
The lecturer saw a sea of blank faces except for Mensah, who had his hand up. Mensah replied, "King Jaja of Opobo, 1875".
"Very good", said the lecturer, who then asked again, "who said the Land Use Act would feed the Nation"?
Again, no response except from Mensah, "Obasanjo, 1976".
The lecturer snapped at the class, "class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Mensah, who happens to be new in our country and a foreigner, knows more about our country's history than you do".
The lecturer heard a loud whisper, "Ghana must go"!
"Who said that"? The lecturer demanded with a cold look.

Echo

Teacher: Who can define echo?……
Omonigho: Uncle, I sir!!….

Giving Change

A policeman arrested a man urinating at a place clearly marked "do not urinate here", fine N500".

Sentences

Teacher: "Make a sentence Green, Pink, Yellow and Black."

See CV

Here is d summarly of my cfi. My name is ekaette my inklish name is yulet am from ibiaku ntok okpo in akwa ibom stead. I brought up in ayekunle den we relogate to jaba @ lakos.

Pray

A man was walking in a bush and he saw a lion in front of him, he knelt down and was praying to GOD to deliver him.

Horse Call

Chidi was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' Chidi asked.
His wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pant's pocket'.
Chidi then said ‘When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on’

Gyne Assistant

A man went to Awolowo Rd, Ikoyi and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read :"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist.

Business Center

Husband & wife agreed that anytime they want 2 have sex, they will call it PHONECALL,So that d kids will not decode. One day the husband sends his son to tell mum that he wants to make a phone call.

Breast Feeding

A guy arrived at a hotel with a lady 15 yrs older than him.
Manager: Sorry, we don’t allow such here.
Guy: Oh, she is my mum.

Afreni

Afreni thought LOL meant "lots of love".

Crazy People Talk

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

Simon and The Gate Keeper

The Game keeper catches Simon leaving the vicinity of the fishfarm with a bucket of fish.
"Aha! I've caught you poachin' fish red-handed," says the Game keeper.

The Chicken and the Goat

A goat and a chicken were discussing and walking along the road side and suddenly a car passed and splash water on them,

Take me Out

Girl: Take me to tantalisers.

Travelling

Adamu was in a bus from Abuja to Lagos.
On The way, a girl's fone rang; "Hello, yes! Am on my way 2 Kaduna. Ok! I'll tell my mom".

6 year Old

A 6yr old boy said to his father....Daddy, I wld like to get married. His dad said sure son, any1 special in mind? The boy said yeah, my grandma.

Upgrade

The Rice at the top of the cooler was once at the bottom of the Pot..

4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, he asked his cousin, “So a man can marry many women?” “The man just married Sixteen women,” the boy added.

Chemistry Test

Akpors and Ambali's conversation in bathroom during test!

Friend of Mine

This morning a friend woke up and as he buttoned his shirt, a button fell off.

Akpo's Story

One day my papa call me, my brother and my mother together and tell us say if we dream say them wan give us something for dream make we no collect, say na enemies wan give us bad things.

How To Impress

How to impress a woman?

3 Friends

3 friends Lived in a Flat on the 110th floor.