Stupid Answers to Stupid Questions

1. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask:- Are you sleeping?

Ans: No! I ’m training to die.!!


2. Imagine when you take an electronic equipment to a technician to get it fixed and he still asks you:- Need it to be fixed?

Ans: No, it got bored of staying home alone so I brought It over for a ride.

3. When It’s raining and someone notices you going out, they ask: - Are you going out in this rain?

Ans: No,in the next one.

4. When you wake up, then comes an idiot asking you: - You Awake?

Ans: No. I'm sleep walking!!

5. Your friend calls your home phone:- Where are you?

Ans: At the bus stop!

6. They see you wet coming from the bathroom:- Did you just have a bath?

Ans: No, I fell in the toilet bowl..!!

7. You are standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor and they ask:- Going up?

Ans: No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come down and get me.

8. Your boyfriend comes to your house with a bunch of flowers. And you still ask him:- are those Flowers?

Ans: No baby! Na Carrots.

9. You’re in the toilet when someone knocks on the door

asking: - Is anyone in there?

Ans: No! The SHIT is talking to you!:D

10. You're on the queue to buy tickets @ the cinema, a friend saw u & ask:- what are u doing here?

Ans: I'm here to pay my school fees!!

11. You leave your house on a journey and when you come back into the house hours later:

Question: Are you back?

Ans: No, i''m still on the road:

12. At the movies when you meet acquaintances/friends and He/She asks: -Hey, what are you doing here?

Ans: -Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought I'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theater.

13. In the bus, A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet and she says: -Sorry, did that hurt?

Ans: -No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.... why don't you try again or should I try this time."

14. At a funeral, One of the teary-eyed people ask: - Why, why him, of all people.

Ans: -Why? Would it rather have been you?

15. When a friend announces her wedding, and you

ask:- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Ans: -No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

16. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone

call: -Sorry. Were you sleeping?

Ans: -No. I was playing football for Real Madrid at Santiago Bernabeu and just when you called Jose Mourinho was betting with me that Barcelona would win. What do you think?

17. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair: -Hey have you had a haircut?

Ans: -No, its autumn and I am shedding....

18. You are smoking a cigarette and a woman asks:- Oh, so you smoke

Ans: -No, it's a miracle.... It was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!

19. Did you catch that fish?

Ans: No, I talked him into giving himself up.

20. Hey is it raining outside?

Ans: Does it ever rain inside?